


Once Upon A Skeleton's Farm

by Lunahras



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Kinda Cracky, M/M, Slow Burn, everyone is forciblyvolunteeredfor farm work, except Saejun's, i have fallen hard for this ship, ish?, its past 4am, the baddies take no ones shit, the bed feud will never be resolved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-02-27 13:18:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18739834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunahras/pseuds/Lunahras
Summary: They're a bunch of murderous basketcases secluded away in the countryside. They have food, sunlight, and absolutely no one else around.Except, as Axe one day discovers, they actually happen to have neighbours. Neighbours who own a farm. Neighbours who have a lot of food. Neighbours who are very charismatic. Neighbours who...Wait, why is he suddenly in the middle of their fields harvesting tomatoes????





	1. Seeds

**Author's Note:**

> i haventshipped anything this hard in years, i hope youre ready to drown in fluff

It was an old house. The floorboards of the porch creaked with every step. The roof rattled in the cool wind of early spring. The whole building groaned, stretching and settling as the seasons changed. A bit of white paint was peeling here and there and the windows were beyond dusty.

Still, it was an actual house.

It was a house, sizable, relatively well kept, and best of all, tucked away at the edge of a forest all by its lonesome. The closest civilization was a small rural village populated mostly by monsters, and even that was a good twenty minute walk away.

All in all it was perfect.

Well, maybe not perfect, but it was definitely miles above the tiny, broken down shack in the middle of nowhere those motherfucking know-it-all catholic schoolboys had attempted to stuff them into. It was a good thing that they'd manage to scrape together enough gold for this house before _that_ particularly retarded idea could come into fruition. They'd have to share rooms but that was still better than sharing _one room_.

They were murderers, not uncouth savages, jeez. Axe huffed as he pulled out a key and, after a bit of janking, managed to open the front door. The fact that there were only two keys to the place was a bit problematic, they'd have to have a few duplicates made. In the meantime it wasn't too much of a problem though, they didn't have much to steal and there weren't many people around here to be stealing in the first place. They'd definitely be locking the doors at night though.

His brother rushed right past him and up the stairs. “I SHALL INSPECT THE BEDROOMS AND TAKE THE ONE I DEEM MOST SUITED TO US, BROTHER.” 

Axe's mild “sure bro.” was entirely drowned out by Edge's booming “SO LONG AS IT DOESN'T INTERFERE WITH MY OWN CHOICE, YOU BUMBLING OAF.”

He felt his hand twitch longingly for the handle of his axe as his grin widened in a decidedly unfriendly manner.

“cozy.” Dust remarked as he sauntered in, followed by Killer.

Red was the last one in, and he simply grunted, barely taking a look around before he threw himself onto the ancient looking couch at one end of the room. It released a dust cloud at the sudden force which had him coughing into his fist. Dust snickered, earning himself a dull crimson glare.

It didn't take long for them to familiarize themselves with their new living space. The house was big but not that much.There were three rooms which were thankfully distributed with very little bloodshed. Edge of course had taken the master bedroom along with Red. Trap didn't seem to mind though, remarking that he and Axe had a wonderful view of the lush, green fields towards the east from their own room, the smallest by a short margin. That left Dust and Killer with the last room, although neither of them complained, seeing as this one actually had a bed  _and_ a couch. Upon noticing this, Edge had immediately declared that any fighting over who would take the bed should be taken outside.  _Or else_ .

They'd honestly been lucky to find a large place in such a remote location, let alone already furnished. Well, barely furnished, but they had beds to sleep on and a functioning kitchen and that was honestly all they needed for now. Sure, the blankets were kinda motheaten and definitely not white anymore and Trap was vaguely afraid of opening the fridge because stars knew if it'd been emptied before this whole place was abandoned for what seemed likedecades. But it was still better than the fucking shack.

Once they were all somewhat settled, Red and Edge were chosen for groceries duty by process of elimination (Killer and Dust were never in the running and should probably be kept away from anyone below LV 5 for a while until they managed to settle down into life in this strange new world; Trap and Axe were out because there were in fact a few humans that lived in town and they didn't really want to risk running into any of them quite yet) and the two most bloodthirsty skeletons decided to duke it out in the backyard. Ostensibly for the bed, but they weren't really fooling anyone with those wide, excited grins. Trap was tottering around in the kitchen which left Axe to lie on the newly emerged spring grass and sunbathe as he watched those two idiots beat each other silly in mild exasperation.

Really, it was almost childish, the way they'd get excited at the prospect of a kill or even a good fight. And to think they were Sanses, perish the thought. Axe stretched, groaning slightly as he closed his sockets against the sunlight.

It was almost surreal. For the first time in years he didn't feel the constant, painful twist of hunger in his bones. Instead he was simply... just hungry. Anticipating a dinner that was sure to come. Feeling the warmth of the sun on his weathered bones, of all things. All because of some sort of multiversal mishap. For all the he really disliked  _classic_ and his little band of condescending little angels (so many painful, bittersweet, foggy remains of memories that he could barely grasp onto) this was one thing he was grateful for. Even if that meant he and his brother were stuck with a bunch of other idiots equally lacking in the sanity department, at leat they wereidiots with character.

A thud and a grunt got him to open his one working socket. Huh, guess Dust was taking the bed. He rolled his engorged eyelight and settled down to take a nap.

Yeah, they could get used to this.

 


	2. Radishes

Axe let out another long string of expletives as he once again cursed his inability to use shortcuts at any sort of meaningful distance without risking passing out mid-jump. He backed himself further into the wooden wall behind him, keeping his head under the meagre protection of a barely overextended roof.

Four months. He'd managed to avoid being outside when it rained for four months. But no, of course it'd catch up to him eventually. Ugh, they should've moved to the fucking desert, dammit. He goes for a walk for once in his life and of course it starts to rain. He'd be sure to insist to his brother that this was just proof that the world simply wanted him to laze around indoors. But for now Axe was simply thankful that he'd managed to find this shed before it really started pouring.

Wait... He blinked for a second before slapping a hand against his face with a groan. Why the hell was he pressed to the wall of the shed when he could be  _inside it_ .

The water in his skull was probably messing with him, he decided. Carefully edging along the wall, he managed to maneuver himself around a corner and finally came across the door. He grabbed the knob, fully expecting it to be locked, and so he was surprised when it turned without resistance. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he shrugged and eagerly slipped inside, moving the door so it was almost closed but no quite.

First order of business, he bent over as much as his spine would allow him, aiming the jagged hole in his skull downwards and shaking himself. He did this for about a minute before standing upright again, cringing tiredly at the small puddle of water in front of him. Stars, he hated the rain.

The weary skeleton looked outside, to the downpour that showed no signs of letting up any time soon, and sighed heavily, dropping down onto the ground. If he was going to wait the rain out he might as well get comfortable. Scoffing at the non-stop rain, he instead looked at the inside of the shed: it seemed to be filled with tools, a few of which he vaguely recognized from distant memories of... picture books? Or something to do with food? Aside from a few watering cans in an abandoned corner and a leaf rake or two, he really couldn't put a name to most of these. Although one of the smaller ones looked like something that could be used for gardening. How curious.

He couldn't glean all that much from just the tools, though, and quickly found his interest waning as he leaned back into the wall with a sigh. He was so tired dammit, he just wanted to go back home and sleep the day away in his and Trap's shared bed. And he was starting to get really hungry too...

Without his conscious input, Axe's hand slowly rose and hooked a phalange onto the rim of his empty socket, tugging and scratching to keep himself in the present. Pain he could deal with, pain was grounding, dig into old wounds and ignore the dreadful feeling festering in his torso, in his marrow, in his magic. The emptyemptyempty space below his ribs.

He didn't know how much time passed as his world narrowed down to the sensations on his body, augmenting one to distract from the other. He could almost feel something around his socket _creak_ under the pressure-

“WELL, WHO'DA THINK IT. IF IT NOT ONE O' MINE BRO'S TWINS.”

Axe startled, hand reaching for a blade that wasn't there. Damn him for leaving his trusty axe at home. He looked up – and up and up and up. At first he thought he'd suddenly traveled back in time; the feeling was familiar, he'd felt the same when he'd first appeared in this world with his brother. But no, that figure framed by the door of the shed wasn't _his_ Papyrus. Or classic for that matter. If the clothes and the almost languid stance didn't give it away, his manner of talking definitely did.

“...who are you.”

The taller monster's mouth quirked upwards and his grip on a dripping umbrella shifted. “YA CAN CALL ME PILSU, O'HER BRO! VERY NICE TA MEET'CHA....” he gave the other an expentant look.

“axe.” he reluctantly replied.

“AH YA, QUITE A WONDERFUL NAME THERE! NOW, I'MMA GUESSIN YA SNUCK INTA OUR SHED CAUSE O' THE RAIN?” He smiled, pointedly looking towards the gaping hole in his skull.

Axe could feel his eyelight expand inwards even as his grin went razor sharp, “that a problem?”

Pilsu tilted his head, still sporting that guileless smile, “NOT A' ALL! ALL'THO OUR DEN MAY'YAP FAR MORE COMFOR'BLE TA WAIT THE RAIN OUT THAN THIS DINGY SHACK.”

Axe opened his mouth to give a scathing remark- wait, what.

“uh” was his intelligent reply.

"RIGHT THEN!" Pilsu nodded to himself. "LET'S GO! DONN' WORRY BOUT THE RAIN, I'LL MAKE SURE TA KEEP YER HEAD COVERED A' ALL TIMES!"

“ _uh_ ”

He felt himself being gently but enthusisatically pulled out of the shed, a hand on his shoulder leading him through the heavy rain. Its grasp was firm but not tight, it wouldn't stop him if he stepped away. Looking up, the umbrella was indeed perfectly positioned to keep any water away from his skull. He would've loved to say he was being avidly manhandled through the fields, but Axe was still a judge, he was still sensitive to intentions, and Pilsu wanted nothing more than to lead him away from the rain and into his presumably dry home. His hand on Axe's shoulder felt warm.

Axe felt dazed, as if he were walking through a dream while Pilsu chattered away at his side. Something about a scarecrow and leeks. Before he even knew it, they'd arrived in front of a wooden house, somewhat different in design from what he was used to, but still emanating a warm light through the windows. Belatedly, he realized he should've probably started protesting a good ten minutes ago. The shorter skeleton slanted his apprehensive gaze towards Pilsu, not sure how to deal with the monster.

“look, uh, you really don't have to-”

"NONSENSE! ANYONE'S WELCOME TA OUR HOME A' ANY TIME FOR ANY REASON. I COULDN'T POSSIBLY LEAVE YA STUCK IN THERE FOR STARS KNOWS HOW LONG! IT'S A-COLD AND A-WET AND MIGHTY UNCOMFOR'BLE, NOT A PLACE FOR ANYONE TA WAIT OUT A STORM." Pilsu declared firmly.

Axe raised an eyeridge, torn between disbelief and something dangerously close to fondness for a guy he'd barely even met. Papyri never really changed, did they? Not even across realities. But also- “it's not really a stor-”

At that exact moment, thnder resounded in the distance. Axe turned to look at the darkened sky in irritable consternation even as he could feel Pilsu's smug gaze boring into his skull.

“...fine. but i need to use your phone.”

"O' COURSE." Pilsu said, opening the door and setting down his opened umbrella on the porch to dry. "JUST TAKE YER SHOES OFF AND SIT TIGHT ON THE COUCH WHILE I GO HOLLAR MY BRO BOUT VISITORS AND GET THE PHONE FOR YA." The door opened and he gestured towards the shoerack in the entryway before pointing at the green sofa that dominated their living area.

Axe reluctantly complied, leaving his soggy slippers – and after some thought his socks – behind and sitting down. And oh, it was so warm in here. And the couch was soft and cozy, he could feel himself sinking into it. A throw pillow gently supported his spine and a soft, fuzzy blanket covered the section he was sitting on. His lids lowered even as any tension he'd been feeling bled away into the wonderful coziness of the couch.

He should really call Trap, though. He didn't want to worry his brother. But it was so soft and w a r m . . .

–

Axe woke to the sound of humming.

A rich voice, familiar and yet it gave him the feeling that it was lighter and scrtchier than it was really meant to be. The melody was a cheerful little jaunt, simple and carrying a tone of tradition and age.

It took a few more seconds before his groggy mind registered that he was not in fact at home. Immediately his sockets shot open, mouth freezing into a jagged grin, and he practically jumped from the couch, sharp claws going for the abrubtly ended humming in lieu of his weapon of choice.

However, his hand froze centimeters away from a bony neck as he finally registered what he was seeing. It was a Sans, that was for sure, and one of the softer ones at that. He bore no visible scars, his features were round and soft, but his bones seemed thicker and sturdier than most. And he was watching him not with fear but simple shock mixed with curiosity.

“ya doin' ok there, pal?”

Axe blinked for a moment before withdrawing himself from the guy's personal space, pointy claw included. The baffling lack of fear left him entirely off-balance and he nervously scratched at the edge if his hole, stamping on the exceedingly weird urge to apologize. Now that he'd given himself a moment, he realized he'd somehow fallen asleep at Pilsu's place. This guy must be his brother then.

“how long was i out?” he asked instead,voice rougher than usual from sleep and his sudden shot of adrenaline.

The slightly smaller skeleton chuckled good-naturedly, "Just bout an hour. By the time Pilsu came over ta hand ya the phone, ye're already gone. It's o'er there if ya still need it, by the by." he gestured vaguely in the general direction of the coffee table beside the couch, shifting in his own seat on a matching armchair.

Axe grumbled out a barely audible thanks and reached for the device, quickly dialing his own landline number.

“ _YES?_ ” came an unmistakeable voice and Axe suppressed an aggravated sigh.

“hey edge. could you pass me my bro?”

“ _OH IT'S YOU. FUCKING FINALLY._ ” he said with absolutely no explanation before his voice became distant but no less loud and grating. “ _TRAP! YOUR INSUFFERABLE BLIGHT OF A BROTHER IS ALIVE! HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!_ ”

There was a loud ruckus in the background and a loud set of familiar steps grew closer to the phone.

“ _SANS????_ ” came Trap's overly worried voice.

“hey bro, sorry if i worried you. i forgot my cell at home and the storm caught me off-guard.” he tried to reassure.

There was an indignant but obviously relieved huff, “ _HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING, SANS?! I BET YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE SPAGHETTI ON YOU RIGHT NOW!_ ”

Axe's fixed smile relaxed a bit around the edges, “guilty as charged.”

“ _OF COURSE. NOW, WHERE SHOULD I PICK YOU UP?_ ”

Axe took a moment to glance at his counterpart, who'd started humming again at some point and was currently immersed in a thick, leatherbound tome. Hmmm. “...actually, paps, i think i'm ok. the neighbors offered to let me wait out the storm at their place.”

At that, the other skeleton looked up with a raised a questioning eye-ridge. Axe let his grin become razor sharp once again but the only reaction that got him was an amused smile and a shrug before the guy looked back down at his book.

“ _GASP!!! WE HAVE NEIGHBORS!! OH SANS, WHY HAVE YOU NEVER MENTIONED THEM BEFORE!_ ”

More than a little off-balance between the reaction and the question, it took Axe a moment or two to process. Finally he frowned slightly, “bro, i didn't kno-”

“ _NEVER MIND THAT, WE SHOULD GO GREET THEM SOMETIME SOON! ANYWAY, HAVE FUN SANS! AND TRY TO BE HOME BEFORE BEDTIME IF YOU CAN'T MAKE DINNER!_ ”

“wait, pa-”

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Axe looked at the phone in a mix of irritation and exasperation that had become rather commonplace in regards to his brother. He sighed irritably. When he looked up, the other skeleton wassiling at him.

“what.” he growled apprehensively.

“nothin' really. ya just seem awfully comfortable here for that violent reaction earlier.”

Axe blinked for a moment and – huh. That was... actually thetruth wasn't it? But this whole placeradiated some sort of homey senseof security, and neither Pilsu or his brother had shown any malicious intent towards him yet, or even any fear which was definitely new.

“and you're awfully welcoming of an obviously dangerous stranger.” he shot back in lieu of an answer.

The guy shrugged, “i'm sure pilsu already told ya. our home is open to any and all, so long as they don't got no ill intentions.” For just a second, eyelights seemed to flash, but just as quickly he was back to a laid-back, kindly monster, “the name's saejun, by the by. and yer axe, right?”

“...right.”

“well then, make yerself at home. oh, wait.” he suddenly seemed to remember something and stood up, heading out of the room. It only took about a minute before came back, bearing a bowl of-

“strawberries, fresh from the fields. picked them just this morning, before the storm.” he announced with a proud smile, “have as many as ya like.”

Axe, who had managed to successfully distract himself from his hunger before, was suddenly almost overwhelmed by the sensation, tongue already forming without his conscious command. if there was one thing he could never turn down itwas food, especially such fresh, succulent, sweet fruit.

So really there was no other outcome to this situation than Axe sitting on the couch fully satisfied and partly blissed out with an empty bowl beside him twenty minutes later. He had no idea what the hell they'd done to those strawberries but they were possibly the most delicious thing he had ever eaten. Perfectly sweet and firm, not a hint too sour, and strangely calming...

Axe blinked. He looked at Saejun, who was sporting a look of amused satisfaction he was determined to ignore. “did you grow these with green magic?”

The smile widened. “sure did. makes 'em not only viable for both humans and monsters, but their healin' properties get a boost as well. and they taste amazing.” he explained, eyelights almost glittering in a way axe found almost-

“huh.”

“ah, would ya look at that. the sun's come out to play.”

Axe looked out the window and indeed, the rain had finally stopped. His gaze shifted back to Saejun as the farmer stood up and stretched, grabbing a strawhat from the coffee table. He walked all the way to the front door before looking back at Axe with an almost mischievous grin.

“well, whatcha waitin' for, an invitation?”

Axe stared at him, eyelight slightly fuzzed in confusion. “what?”

“come on out, ya big lug. ya look like yer well built and i could use a hand out in the field.”

“but-” he tried to protest.

“and ya ate all our strawberries. thought ya were gonna take a few but naw, just took 'em all.” he said, and though his tone was accusing, his eyelights sparkled with mirth. “gotta pay those back somehow.”

“uh-”

“come on now.” Saejun said with an air of finality.

0 0 0

“SANS! YOU'RE BACK! AND YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY FILTHY! AND... ARE THOSE RADISHES?”

“....yeah.”

Trap blinked. “WELL, ALRIGHT THEN. YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR DINNER SO JUST PUT THEM IN THE SINK.”

“.... 'kay”

 


End file.
